Sick Of Being Single? A Psychologist’s Guide To Actually Enjoying It
If single friends are dropping like flies and more and more couples are appearing in your life, it can make being single feel particularly uncomfortable. There’s a great deal of shame and anxiety around “failing” to find a partner, Bruneau notes. “If we’re the ‘odd one out,’ she says, “it’s natural to internalize being single as a result of us being undesirable or unlovable. This of course is not true.”
Being single and even “unsuccessfully” dating can stir up a lot of emotions that are similar to grief, Spinelli adds. “For many, there is a picture of the kind of partner they would want, and when they are surrounded by friends who are in a relationship, it elevates the loss.”
Understanding that you can’t compare two people’s journeys is key here. Nevertheless, having friends in relationships in some ways forces you to confront this discomfort and learn to be OK with it, as you learn how to be happy single. And as Bruneau notes, it never hurts to find some more single friends.